xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm getting married
To pizza
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
