I'm going to jail i love you
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
