Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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