problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
accomplished twins. life is a go
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
