i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
