We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
