This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize