every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
