WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
