i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
