I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
