We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Come on in and take your pants off
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