Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
