I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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