I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
