Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
