my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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