big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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