You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
