so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
