i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize