she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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