People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
