I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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