I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
