Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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