Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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