did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
