I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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