Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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