There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
