Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
