This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
