It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
