I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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