Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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