so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
