maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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