PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
did i walk over a car last night?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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