I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
