Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
