Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
