Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
