i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
