My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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