I look better un-naked...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
