I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
