Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
