WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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