The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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