Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
