Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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