oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
