Screwed.edu
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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