I want to stick my p in your. b.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
