Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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