you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My vagina is officially offended.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
