32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
