she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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