hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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