Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
