I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
