All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize