Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize