i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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