dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
