I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
