can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
