Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
