By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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